Day 57: A Warranty in Mock Legalese
At a hardware store in Celaya, Guanajuato, Jairo (A), a young man, brings a broken blender back to the owner, Don Faustino (B), who is famous for his dry humor and writes his warranties by hand.
How to study this lesson 3 steps
- Read the situation under the title. It says who is talking and how they know each other, which decides how politely they speak.
- Read the dialogue line by line with its translation, until every line makes sense. Point at (or tap) a Spanish word to see what it means.
- Spend at least 30 minutes listening to native Spanish, for example from the Resources page. It doesn't matter if you don't understand it yet.
Dialogue
Audio recordings are on the way. For now, each lesson is the dialogue with its English translation.
Keys: E hide English · ← → previous / next day · point at a word to see its meaning
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A
Buenas tardes. Vengo a devolver esta licuadora: la compré aquí hace tres semanas y ya no prende.
Good afternoon. I've come to return this blender: I bought it here three weeks ago and it won't turn on anymore.
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B
A ver. La garantía está en el recibo, de mi puño y letra, y he de leérsela completa.
Let's see. The warranty's on the receipt, in my own hand, and I'm obliged to read it to you in full.
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A
Adelante, don Faustino. Nomás le aviso que la difunta murió de causas naturales.
Go ahead, Don Faustino. I'll just let you know that the deceased died of natural causes.
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B
Cláusula primera: “Quien licuare tornillos, penas o hielo sin líquido perderá todo derecho a reclamo”. ¿Licuó usted hielo?
Clause one: “Whosoever shall blend screws, sorrows or ice without liquid shall forfeit all right to complain.” Did you blend ice?
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A
El suscrito declara, bajo protesta de decir verdad, que licuó hielo con agua de jamaica, como consta en el vaso.
The undersigned declares, under oath, that he blended ice with hibiscus water, as the blender jar bears witness.
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B
Prueba admitida. Cláusula segunda: “Si el aparato se descompusiere por el uso, la casa lo repondrá; si por abuso, se reserva el derecho de reírse”.
Evidence admitted. Clause two: “Should the appliance break down through use, the store shall replace it; through abuse, it reserves the right to laugh.”
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A
Me permito recordarle que la ley exige por lo menos noventa días de garantía, y de risas no dice nada.
May I remind you that the law requires a warranty of at least ninety days, and it says nothing about laughing.
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B
Por eso la mía dice noventa, y la risa va de pilón. Pero esto huele a motor quemado: ¿cuánto la tuvo prendida?
That's why mine says ninety, and the laugh comes free. But this smells of a burned-out motor: how long did you have it running?
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A
Lo que dura una piñata: veinte minutos seguidos haciendo raspados para quince niños. Uso intensivo, no abuso.
As long as a piñata lasts: twenty minutes non-stop making snow cones for fifteen children. Heavy use, not abuse.
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B
Bien alegado: el término existe. Se la cambio hoy mismo, con tal de que me deje una reseña en español sencillito.
Well argued: the term exists. I'll exchange it for you today, provided you leave me a review in plain, simple Spanish.
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A
Acepto. Firmo de conformidad, y quien leyere la reseña sabrá que aquí hasta la garantía viene con chiste.
I accept. I sign in agreement, and whosoever shall read the review shall know that here even the warranty comes with a joke.
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