Day 76: The Last Tamal Clause

Dialogue

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1. 1
   A

   Papá, ya ensayamos tres veces y no te has reído ni una. Es un sketch para la posada, no un velorio.

   Dad, we've rehearsed three times now and you haven't laughed once. It's a sketch for the posada, not a wake.

   Line 1
2. 2
   B

   Un notario no se ríe, Mateo; eso le toca al público. Abierto el sobre, me acomodo los lentes y procedo.

   A notary doesn't laugh, Mateo; that's the audience's job. Once the envelope's open, I adjust my glasses and proceed.

   Line 2
3. 3
   A

   Va. Yo entro de sobrino interesado, con cara de que quería mucho a la tía Filomena, aunque nunca la visitaba.

   OK. I come on as the greedy nephew, looking as if I really loved Aunt Filomena, even though I never visited her.

   Line 3
4. 4
   B

   “En Querétaro, a veinticuatro de diciembre, comparecen ante mí los herederos de la finada Filomena Rangel”.

   “In Querétaro, on the twenty-fourth of December, there appear before me the heirs of the late Filomena Rangel.”

   Line 4
5. 5
   A

   ¡Perdón, perdón! Es que pones voz de anuncio de funeraria. Ya me controlo, te lo juro, síguele.

   Sorry, sorry! It's just you're doing your funeral-home commercial voice. I'll get a grip, I swear, keep going.

   Line 5
6. 6
   B

   “Cláusula primera: al sobrino que se acordare de mí le lego mi bolsa de bolsas, para que nunca le falte en qué cargar el mandado”.

   “Clause one: to whichever nephew shall remember me I bequeath my bag of bags, so that he may never lack something to carry the groceries in.”

   Line 6
7. 7
   A

   ¡La bolsa de bolsas! No puedo, papá: la abuela tiene una igualita abajo del fregadero, y adentro hay otra.

   The bag of bags! I can't, Dad: Grandma has one just like it under the sink, and there's another one inside it.

   Line 7
8. 8
   B

   Por eso funciona, si no te carcajeas antes que el público. “Cláusula segunda: el que se comiere el último tamal lavará los trastes, sea cual fuere su edad”.

   That's why it works, as long as you don't crack up before the audience does. “Clause two: whosoever shall eat the last tamal shall do the dishes, whatever their age may be.”

   Line 8
9. 9
   A

   Oye, ¿y quién se comió hoy el último tamal de rajas? La hoja estaba en tu plato, papá.

   Hang on, who ate the last rajas tamal today? The husk was on your plate, Dad.

   Line 9
10. 10
    B

    Improcedente. Leído el testamento, la cláusula surtirá efectos, no antes, y este testamento aún no se ha leído en público.

    Inadmissible. Once the will has been read, the clause shall take effect, not before, and this will has not yet been read in public.

    Line 10
11. 11
    A

    ¡Sí se leyó! Me lo acabas de leer, y yo soy el público. Los trastes son tuyos, señor notario.

    It has been read! You've just read it to me, and I'm the public. The dishes are yours, Mr. Notary.

    Line 11
12. 12
    B

    Me ganaste, licenciado, y ahí sí me reí. Esa réplica va al sketch; ahora, con permiso, este notario tiene trastes que lavar.

    You've got me, counsel, and that one did make me laugh. That comeback goes in the sketch; now, if you'll excuse me, this notary has some dishes to do.

    Line 12