Day 28: A Retired Chemist Reads the Label

Dialogue

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1. 1
   A

   Joven, una pregunta: aquí dice que esta pomada está “clínicamente comprobada”. ¿Comprobada por quién?

   Young man, a question: it says here that this cream is “clinically proven.” Proven by whom?

   Line 1
2. 2
   B

   Así viene, señora: árnica, cúrcuma y mentol. Se vende mucho para las rodillas.

   That's how it comes, ma'am: arnica, turmeric and menthol. It sells well for knees.

   Line 2
3. 3
   A

   Pues voltee la caja: una muestra de veinte, sin grupo de control, y el estudio lo pagó el laboratorio.

   Well, turn the box over: a sample of twenty, no control group, and the study was paid for by the manufacturer.

   Line 3
4. 4
   B

   Veo que usted sí lee la letra chiquita. ¿Es médica, o trabaja para la competencia?

   I see you actually read the small print. Are you a doctor, or do you work for the competition?

   Line 4
5. 5
   A

   Química jubilada, joven. Si bien ya no doy clases, sigo dictaminando para una revista, y esto no pasaría el filtro.

   A retired chemist, young man. Although I no longer teach, I still review for a journal, and this wouldn't pass the screening.

   Line 5
6. 6
   B

   Le confieso que la evidencia está flaquita. Por más que diga “comprobado”, nunca dice comparado con qué.

   I'll admit the evidence is pretty thin. However much it says “proven,” it never says compared with what.

   Line 6
7. 7
   A

   Exacto: si el estudio fuese serio, tendría un grupo placebo. Y aun cuando la cúrcuma sirviese de algo, untada nomás pinta el pantalón de amarillo.

   Exactly: if the study were serious, it would have a placebo group. And even if the turmeric were any use, rubbed on, all it does is turn your pants yellow.

   Line 7
8. 8
   B

   Entonces le recomiendo diclofenaco en gel: hay ensayos con miles de pacientes con artrosis, y contra placebo sí gana.

   Then I'd recommend diclofenac gel: there are trials with thousands of patients with osteoarthritis, and it does beat a placebo.

   Line 8
9. 9
   A

   Me lo llevo. Si todo este anaquel tuviese que pasar ese filtro, joven, se quedaría medio vacío.

   I'll take it. If this whole shelf had to pass that test, young man, it would be half empty.

   Line 9
10. 10
    B

    Que no me oiga el gerente, doctora. Y si en dos semanas sigue igual, vaya al médico: yo despacho, no dictamino.

    Don't let the manager hear me, Doctor. And if it's no better in two weeks, go see a doctor: I serve customers, I don't referee.

    Line 10